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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396449">I’ll love you again in a moment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotmind_mehere/pseuds/Donotmind_mehere'>Donotmind_mehere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red vs. Blue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue) Has PTSD, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Brain Damage, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, False Memories, Memory Loss, Mentioned AI Program Epsilon | Leonard Church, Minor Spoilers, Past Agent Carolina/Agent York (Red vs. Blue), but like they all do, implied/referenced PTSD, no happy ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:15:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,248</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotmind_mehere/pseuds/Donotmind_mehere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope i don’t get anyone’s hopes up, i finally got to season /go-fuck-yourself/ where my boy gets his head blow in by a bullet and i was kind of sad SOOOO i was like “what is the most popular ship dynamic that Wash is apart of” and flipped a coin between this and Tucker/Wash. You’re welcome :)</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Agent Carolina &amp; Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I’ll love you again in a moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope i don’t get anyone’s hopes up, i finally got to season /go-fuck-yourself/ where my boy gets his head blow in by a bullet and i was kind of sad SOOOO i was like “what is the most popular ship dynamic that Wash is apart of” and flipped a coin between this and Tucker/Wash. You’re welcome :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s so hard for him to think. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His brain keeps toggling back and forth between sarnario after sarnario, memory after memory and when he wakes up, he’s home, in a room, on a bed, next to Carolina…? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wash jumps out of bed, his stomach clenching and his head spinning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carolina what the hell are you doing!” He almost shouts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it’s just enough to wake her up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hates nights like these, where he doesn’t sleep and wakes up freaking out at her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s considered sleeping away from him, getting her own room and being done with it all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She has slept away from him but well, it’s difficult for both of them in their own capacity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David, it’s okay…” she tries at first, he normally snaps awake only to be reminded where he is within an  instance of waking up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David?!” He shouts at her “What the hell are you-“ he looks down at himself, he also forgot that he only fell asleep that night in his boxers and immediately freaks out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lina! York! We didn’t!” He begins to hyperventilate, the fear of betraying a friend long dead engraved into his features. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And for all her collectiveness on a battlefield, she’s never been good at helping people just relax in situations that weren’t accompanied by gunfire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David, it’s okay, I promise.” she tries to say softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gets up but him seeing her in only her tank top and underwear, just reaffirms his worst fears and makes it worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He steps back, into the wall that seals their room from the others, he's heaving large unsteady breaths and if he keeps this up, she knows he’s going to throw up or pass out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just, just get out!” He thrust his hand shakily in the direction of the door and she wants to make him more comfortable, tell him everything is going to be okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> She should go down the hall, call Dr. Grey and ask her to write him another prescription, a stronger one this time but she can’t, she’s  frozen in place, her heart seized by the fear that he might not wake up this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For Carolina loss wasn’t a new concept. She lost her mother, her friends, her father, and Church. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And sure, she had the Reds and Blues but David, Washington, was her link to her old life, the only one besides Church who’d ever understand her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t.” She says softly and she feels the tears mixed with exhaustion beginning to take her over her body. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Washington’s face fickers for a moment and although he does not realize why, he knows he hurt her and tries with his limited memory, to make it better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is Church?” He asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hated the way that sounded coming out of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks at Washington from across the bed, her eyes glinting with the tears she can’t shed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do, you know where we are?” She asks him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shakes his and for a long moment they just stare at each other, trying to guess what to do next.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In my room,” he pauses “in...uh,Carolina, what are you doing here?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David, i need you to tell me where you are.” She tells him quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Where did he go, she often wondered. When all this his brain forgot who he was and where he was. Where did his brain go when he attacked the reds and blues thinking they were ghosts, long dead? Where did his brain go when he woke up like this, when he woke up crying, screaming, calling for Allison only to be greeted by her daughter? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Valhalla.” He chokes out, “ how did you get here, you were dead, we saw you die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rubs the scar on the base of neck and remembers the fall, her stomach drops and squeezes her eyes shut and breathes in deeply, now isn’t the time for that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“David, you’re, we’re-“ she sighs and holds her hands to her sides, Dr. Grey told her not to confuse him because it’ll make him more agitated and may even damage him further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No!!” He yelled so hard that his throat was raw and sore the next day. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Agent Washington! What did you see yesterday?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He has to breathe any time he talks with these people, he has to talk slowly, let his brain and separate the wheat from the chaff. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Maine, he took Carolina’s A.I. and threw her off the cliff.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, why?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We just want to make sure you’re accurately describing the events.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The counselor nods and writes something down. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks around the room and Carolina is gone but shouldn’t she be here? And why is he standing? Why isn’t he laying down? And he bet she stole some more of his money to go see that fucker from- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smacks the side of his as if mentally reminding himself, that isn’t his memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He opens the door to their room and looks down the hall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carolina?” He whispers into the darkened hall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He steps out, forgetting he’s only in his boxers, looking for the person he’s sure he fell asleep with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just, it’s been getting worse, Dr. Grey.” He hears her voice down the hall, he slowly creeps toward it wondering for a moment, what she’s talking about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You hear the voices in another room, did you two have an argument?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The best thing you can do is not to argue with him.” Dr. Grey’s voice says “unfortunately our options at the moment are limited and the prescription I wrote for you last month is the strongest we have.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hears her sigh and he wonders what exactly is wrong, what was he missing? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her head turns jerkily to him when he steps through the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” He whispers softly running a hand through his messy blonde hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go back to bed, Wash.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The use of his code name stabs him in the heart and feels like acid on her tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did I mess up that badly?” He asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wash, where are we?” She asks him quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On Chorus, right?.” He says and yes, the pieces finally falling into place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nods but no sigh of relief passes through her lips or weight of something being lifted from her shoulders, just utter resignation meant their situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It happened again, David.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes go wide and he blinks away the tears and chokes down the sob. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re being tasked with the recovery of UNSC property.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He nods </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yessir.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We understand that these were your friends-“ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t have any friends.” He says sharply. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it that bad this time?” He ask her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nods and she can feel the sob in her throat choking her, she wants to cry, every time this happens , she wants to cry but that is how she wants to spend her time with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In these moments when he’s here and not there she wants things to be like the way back on the Moon, peaceful and relaxed, being given the opportunity to heal instead of having to fight the shadows of the past. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls her into a tight hug, the words they want to say, going bitterly unspoken with a kiss and the patter of their bare feet on the metal floor. And just as his eyes begin to flutter close, he softly rubs the scar on his head, willing it away, hoping that he’ll wake up and it’ll all be over. </span>
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